Temptation…

I had never been plagued by guilt this strong; I had always believed I was made of sterner stuff, that I was not the kind of guy to give in to temptation no matter how blatantly it stared me in the face. Yet here I was, drawn against my will by the way she looked - it was lust at first sight, and I knew I had to have her. I wasn’t going to take no for an answer or listen to my conscience which tried to pull me back – the little voice reminded me that I was a married man and that my wife would be furious if she found out, yet I rudely shoved it aside.

I couldn’t take my eyes away as she beckoned to me with her sexy body; she was dark, not the type I usually go for, but then again, there was something special about her. I edged closer, and tentatively reached out to touch her – she felt silky smooth beneath my fingers. I ached to see what she looked like with nothing on, and hesitantly began to take it all off. She didn’t stop me, and when I held her for the first time, I knew I had made the right decision.

How could something that felt this right be so wrong? She was not just eye candy – Oh, how she could perform! She responded with gay abandon to my touch, and as my fingers danced on her lightly, I could feel her begging me to do more. They say first dates are slow and steady, but I went all out that day – there was no smooth seduction or hesitant moves, I literally tried her out in every possible way. It was the only way I could justify her to my conscience.

Once I was thoroughly satisfied, I walked out with her. There was no other way to break this to my wife other than to show her why I had broken my promise. And unless she saw her beauty, unless she saw for herself how I felt when I looked at her and held her, she would never understand what drove me to this conclusion. I know it will be hard on her to share me with someone else, but maybe if I promise to spend just the minimum amount of time with my new passion, my wife might just let me keep my shiny new BlackBerry!

And the Walls of Doubt Came Tumbling Down…

He looked into the rearview mirror and checked his face for telltale signs before brushing off his clothes to remove any stray hairs. He put on his assertive attitude, the one he adopted during business meetings to get a head start over the competition even before the wheeling and dealing had begun; in his book, going on the offensive was the only way to avoid being pushed to the defensive. As he walked in the door, he tried not to tiptoe – his late arrival from the office coupled with his deferential behavior and a few rumors on the local grapevine had incited his wife’s wrath a few days ago, and he did not want a repeat of the scene she had created.

Even as he had categorically denied an affair with his secretary, his mind could not help but remember her lush curves, come-hither eyes and silky smooth skin, all of which he had thoroughly enjoyed hardly an hour earlier. When his wife had refused to calm down in spite of his denials and pleas, he decided to change tack to regain control over the situation. His voice had radiated confidence as he firmly stated that he was not having an affair, and that if she chose to believe otherwise, she was welcome to leave him. He was particularly proud of his voice breaking a little towards the end when he switched to the role of the victim and sank to the sofa with his head in his hands, as if to bemoan his wretched life with a wife who did not trust him. He didn’t know whether she bought it, but at least it bought him some peace and quiet for the rest of the night.

He looked around the living room and waited for the explosion he knew was coming; he was much later coming home today and he doubted his wife would buy the story of a business meeting that ran to 1 am. His brain had warned him that he was asking for trouble, but other parts of his body took control and he lost track of the time yet again.

A light in the dining room made him gravitate to the dinner table, and the sight of his wife asleep with her head on the table gave him a jolt. She awoke at the sound of his footsteps, and her face broke into a huge smile. He instinctively shrank back as she came over to give him a hug (was she trying to smell her on him?). She broke into mundane chatter about her day as she went around getting his dinner warmed up and setting out a plate and cutlery for him. His mind began to race even as it completely forgot the speech he had prepared to justify his late homecoming - Why is she not yelling at me? Why is she being so nice to me?

A new emotion overtook him and raced through his blood; there was only one explanation for her strange behavior – she was up to something behind his back and all this was a way of covering up her indiscretion. The bitch!!! She was trying to throw him off track! Well, not for long, he thought. And as soon as she went to bed, he was rifling through her phone and computer for any stray text messages or emails that would offer proof of her philandering ways!

And in the room next door, she smiled as she thought to herself - the best way to bring down the walls of doubt was to raise a few of your own - before she fell into a deep and peaceful slumber for the first time in months!

It’s all Relative!

It’s been quite a while since I left school and my science textbooks behind, so I don’t really remember if I studied Einstein’s Theory of Relativity in any great detail. I think I’m with the general majority who know on some level that E=mc2 is one of the most happening equations in the world of Physics, but not too sure what the fuss is all about.

Now I’m no genius like Einstein was, but I’ve come up with my own explanation for E=mc2 (my sincere apologies to poor old Albert who must be turning in his grave at this blasphemy), one that is based on Chemistry and Biology - the chemistry each of us shares (or wished desperately we didn’t share) with biological relatives, the ones who are relatively far in terms of blood, but who consider themselves relatively close when it comes to poking their noses into your private affairs.

E = number of inquisitive Enquiries you get at family functions and random meetings

m = the number of years you escape the Matrimony noose from the time you hit puberty or from the time your older siblings get married

c = the number of Childless years once you get married or the number of years after your younger siblings become parents

Do the Math, and if your calculations are right, you’ll soon figure out how match-making ideas and creative tips for procreation increase in direct proportion to the number of years you remain single or childless! The catalyst in this reaction changes according to the nature of the meeting - so weddings and baby-related events add fuel to the fire while chance meetings are relatively tamer in comparison. However, questions in a crowd are easier to deflect than those that are shot at you when you’re caught solo and unawares.

As the years go by, one or both of two things happen – the relative intensity of the enquiries decreases, and/or you develop buffalo skin along the lines of the Survival of the Thickest theory (again, my apologies to Darwin for paraphrasing his postulation) and become an expert in deflecting the most embarrassing questions and insinuations without batting an eyelid.

More time moves on, and one fine day, you start to realize that you're relatively outside the firing range because younger and more eligible relatives have become sitting ducks and ripe targets. You heart does a little jig! Oh, the joy of freedom, of being able to move around without having to skulk in the shadows and duck out of sight every time you see a question-loaded gun trained on you!

But wait…what’s that fleeting thought you had when you saw a PYT walk in through the door, dressed in her finest and looking as radiant as the sun? Did your mind just pair her up with your first cousin twice removed and suggest that they would make a great couple in a flash of a second? And did you not smile to yourself at the slight bulge you thought you saw in your sister’s husband’s sister’s daughter’s midriff, the one who got married barely a year ago?

Damn! Is this what they call the Circle of Life?